I'll Be The Same - GermanyxReader

~10 years ago~

It had been a tiring day, your first full one in Germany. You were on holiday with your family but it had seemed like a good idea at the time to wander away from the group and do some exploring of your own. That was until you found yourself lost in the Bavarian Forest, one of the biggest in Europe, or so you’d heard. Being unable to speak any German was the least of your worries; you’re family weren’t the most observant when it came to noticing you weren’t around. Dismally you asked yourself whether they knew you were gone after the hours you had spent away, partially taken up by trying to find your way back.

You’d been walking all that time and it was definitely starting to affect you. You sat down under one of the many surrounding trees, deciding that you would continue your search for the way back after a quick rest. Soon enough however, you drifted off unable to keep to your word.

“Ruff!” You slowly opened your eyes at the sudden noise, but they quickly widened as you caught sight of the cause that stood before you. The big Alsatian licked the side of your face with his slimy tongue, making you cringe and shuffle away.

“Ahhhh!” It’s going to eat me!” You called out loudly, hoping that anyone would hear you and come running to your rescue. As you were backing away, you bumped into another reason to be scared. You were only a kid after all and the Doberman you turned to face was yet another quite large dog. You squealed this time, crouching down and covering your head with both hands in your panic. You were caught between the two beasts with their owners nowhere in sight. Though you did have your eyes forced shut, preparing yourself for the worst.

“Kesese. Hey West! Is this the kid we’re looking for?” You heard a man ask loudly and looked up, eyes snapping open, to see a man with grey hair and red eyes smirking down at your terrified state. You decided there and then that you didn’t like this man very much.

“Ja. It doesn’t sound like she speaks German.” A blond this time stepped out from the trees. He sighed at the discovery made. “Berlitz, Blackie!” He called over the two dogs sitting nearby, somewhat confused by your reaction to them finding you. They were by his side soon after, joining what seemed to be a Golden Retriever.

“Are you alright _______?” The dog owner asked, looking down at you with icy blue eyes. They didn’t seem cold though; they looked nice, despite the stern expression they accompanied.

“How do you know my name?” You asked in wide-eyed wonder after getting to your feet and dusting yourself off, assuring yourself as much as the questioner that you were okay.

“It helps to know your name if we said we’d come out looking for you.” The guy that first found you cut in. You frowned at this response. Maybe you’d been hoping for the reason to be more mysterious or exciting. Either way, you didn’t think it was very fair that these people should know your name without you knowing theirs’.

“I’m Germany and this is Prussia… My bruder.” The blond spoke again seeming to have been able to read your mind before you had the chance to voice your question. It looked like he just wanted to have matters sorted out as quickly as possible though, considering what he said next. “We should go back _______. I’m sure your family must be worried.”

‘I’m sure they’re not.’ You thought to yourself, looking down in disappointment. If either of the brothers noticed this, they didn’t say anything as they led and you followed along behind.

*****

You couldn’t help but think, as you made your way back to your family’s cabin, how strange your companion’s names were. Maybe it was because you weren’t from Germany so were unused to hearing them, but you distinctly remembered one of them introducing himself as Germany and it did seem odd to you that he would be named after a country. You didn’t bring this up however, not wanting to sound rude to people who had helped you.

“You two must know this place really well if you can help me find my way back.” You pointed out instead, distracting yourself. “Everywhere I look looks the same to me.” You found yourself admitting; the three of you hadn’t left the forest.

“Maps help.” Germany told you, without stopping. “You should have one if you aren’t from around here. It will be harder to get lost then.” You stopped in your tracks. You weren’t sure if your family had brought a map with them when they came to Germany for this trip. You’d certainly never seen one around where you were staying. Worry overcame you as all the scenarios this might lead to came to mind.

“West, we’ve lost someone.” Prussia informed his brother who came to a stop only as this was brought to his attention. The two brothers looked back at you, standing still in the middle of the trail a few feet back, hiding your face away.

“Kesese.” Prussia made that strange laughing sound again as he made his way back towards you. “What’s wrong _______? You tired? Would help if Germany’s dogs licked your face again?” You could hardly believe that Prussia had seen that happen and still hadn’t stepped in sooner than when he did. It felt like seeing you miserable made him happy.

“No!” You cried out as defiantly as you could while anxious and upset. “It’s just… I don’t know if my family has a map, so what if I get lost again and even you two can’t find me? I don’t want to spend all my time inside.” You voiced your concerns through sobs. Prussia didn’t seem much affected by your outburst, his self-confident expression remained unchanged, but at least he was silenced. Then you felt a hand on your shoulder. It startled you out of your crying and you looked up to find Germany was by your side, his lips forming one of the smallest smiles you’d ever seen. You hadn’t noticed before that he had come back to you as well.

“Have mine.” He told you holding out a map with his free hand. For that moment you only stared at the paper, uncertain as to whether it was okay to accept the gift. “I know this country very well. It’s safe to say I don’t need this anymore.” He stiffly offered further assurance. You felt convinced enough by his words, so slowly reached up to take the map of the surrounding area. Prussia was faster however, and snatched the present from Germany’s hand. He held it just out of your reach, teasingly lifting it higher whenever your jumping and stretching came close.

“Bruder!” Germany’s voice suddenly boomed as he drew his arms to his sides and towered with authority over even Prussia. You cowered a little at the noise, even though it looked like Germany was on your side. You felt something tap you on the head, drawing your attention back to Prussia. He stood over you, grinning after hitting you on the head with Germany’s map. He was still holding it there, until you grabbed it from him much more ungratefully than you would have taken it from Germany. You glared up at Prussia trying your best to look intimidating, but it really wasn’t working.

“Let’s keep going.” Germany decided eventually, seeing the three of you were getting nowhere fast. As you all moved forward you noticed a small yellow bird nestled in Prussia’s hair. You weren’t sure if it had only recently arrived, or whether it had been there the whole time. Either way you hoped it would poop on his head.

*****

“Thank you for bringing her back.” Your mother said to the pair once you had been escorted all the way back to your cabin. You stood at her side in the doorway, clutching your new map closely. You didn’t want Prussia to take it away just as he and Germany were leaving; then you might never see it again. “Would you like to come inside?” She offered politely, stepping aside to leave room for them both, and pulling you with her when you didn’t move of your own freewill.

“Nein. We have a lot of work to do.” Germany revealed and then glanced at his bother. “I do anyway.” He amended. Then the blond took one last look at you. “Auf wiedersehen _______.” That sentence left you standing in disbelief as Germany and Prussia took their leave. Being young and not understanding the German language, your mind had simplified things, filling in blanks that didn’t need to be filled. To you it had sounded a lot like Germany had said ‘I’ll be the same’ in English. It was easier for you to understand the saying this way, once you had already decided upon it.

The door was closed when the men were out of sight and you had been ushered inside. It was opened only seconds later however and you looked off into the distance in the direction you were sure you had seen them head. “Really?” You asked into the air. Though it seemed near impossible for someone to honestly assure you that they would not have changed in the slightest by the next time you met, you couldn’t help being drawn in by your interpretation of the words.

~Present day~

“Come on.” You tell your older brother as you drag him around the bustling Germany city. After your chance meeting with those two men all those years ago, Germany has been your holiday spot of choice. It would be your first suggestion whenever your parents brought up the topic of going somewhere. Eventually they gave up on trying to deter you and instead allowed you to take holidays separate from them. They don’t want you going by yourself though; or rather your brother is the one most against it. You have tried to go without him a few times in the past, but he has always managed to find out before you leave. He’s followed you faithfully, even protectively, after you had become lost as a child.

The reason you keep coming back is in hopes of tracking down the man that had introduced himself as Germany, if only to see him again. Of course you have since learnt that ‘Auf wiedersehen’ is simply a way of saying goodbye in German, without the deeper meaning you had assigned to it, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop chasing your childish fantasy. That’s how you see things at least.

“_______, I’m tired.” Your brother sighs behind you, causing you to look back at him with some concern. “Can’t we just go home already? We’ve been here for three weeks.” He protests, walking towards you now. “Whatever you’re looking for here, I don’t think you’re going to find it.” You freeze at these words, but soon recover.

“What? What do mean? I’m not looking for anything.” You laugh evasively, embarrassed at what your brother might think of you if he finds out the truth. He doesn’t look at all impressed by your reaction.

“It’s obvious that you are.” He counters, frowning as you glance sideways, avoiding eye contact. “Why else would you want to keep coming back to this country so much and then spend all your time rushing around?... You weren’t that excited the first time we came to Germany. What changed back then?”

“Uh, well…” You hesitate before going on to explain your meeting with Germany and Prussia ten years ago. At first your brother appears understanding, then sceptical as you continue. By the end he looks frustrated more than anything else.

“_______ I hate to tell you this, but for all either of us know you’ve been leading us on a wild goose chase all this time. Do you really think people are going to have names like Germany and Prussia? They were probably teasing you, that or you’re remembering it wrong. Either way, you shouldn’t base coming back here all these times on some farfetched hopes of finding these guys. If they really wanted to see you again, don’t you think they’d have said something? How do you think they’re going to feel if they find out they have a crazy stalker after them?” Your brother isn’t even halfway through saying these words before you’re staring at the floor sadly. You knew telling him was a bad idea, but that’s not all that’s upsetting you. What he’s saying does actually make sense to you; you’ve just been dismissing those thoughts whenever they creep into your mind. Hearing somebody else say them, they really hit home.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” You admit despite yourself. “Let’s go back to the hotel. We’re leaving tomorrow anyway, right?” Your brother nods, acknowledging that he may have been too harsh. He takes your hand and he’s the one now leading you. You’re too distracted to really care where. You’re preparing yourself for letting go at last and leaving one of the few existing parts of your childhood behind. If your brother is right the best way to move on, you suppose, is to not come back to Germany again. You’ve spent enough time here, chasing wild dreams.

You’re pushed back suddenly, bringing you back to Earth. Gradually you realise that a dog has jumped up at you. A dog that looks vaguely familiar.

“Will you please keep your dog under control?” Your bother asks the walker irritably, forgetting momentarily that he is in Germany.

“He usually is.” The man spoken to smirks, pulling the German shepherd down from you. “My bruder makes sure of that. He must like you. Kesese.” You do a double take of the man at hearing this laugh. And are left speechless for the moment as you gape at him… He seems to be enjoying the attention.

“Well, we should get going.” Your brother comments, tugging you slightly.

“Wait!” You call out suddenly as the grey haired man starts to leave. “Are you… Prussia?” You ask and he turns back to face you, a confident smile on his face.

“Ja. And I’m awesome.” He informs you casually.

“Oh, come on!” Your brother speaks up in exasperation. “_______, you have to know he’s not being serious. Who would honestly say that about themselves?” He protests, taking the same dislike to this man that you did as a child. You don’t care though; it’s not Prussia you’ve been wanting to see all this time anyway.

“I’ll meet you back at the hotel.” You tell your brother decisively as you pull away and rush to catch up to Prussia, leaving your sibling to stand rejected in the middle of the street staring after you, wanting to follow.

“Do you know where your brother is right now?” You ask Prussia, scarcely able to contain your excitement. You hadn’t at all been expecting Prussia to look so similar to the way he did the day you first met him, but he does. He really is the same. Seeing Germany this way too would, to you, be undeniable proof that fantasies sometimes really can become reality.

“I’m heading there now. Why, did you want to come?” Prussia asks. Your breath catches in your throat. Doesn’t he remember you? Maybe what your brother said about crazy stalkers is right after all, but you’ve come this far. It would be agonising to turn back now.

“Um… Yeah.” You accept the invitation, slightly discouraged. You fall silent for a short while as the two of you continue walking, but soon find a way to distract yourself from your worries. “So, how old is this dog anyway?” You question. It looks like Prussia has to think for a minute before answering.

“You should ask my bruder when we get there; he’s not mine.” He eventually settles with. Well that didn’t work for long as a conversation starter. Bored, your eyes wander up to the top of Prussia’s head where you’re surprised to see a yellow chick making itself comfortable.

“How many of those things do you have?” You ask before you can stop yourself. He looks at you questioningly and your eyes flicker up to the small bird on his head and his eyes follow. He seems to know what you mean by then and grins.

“I don’t know, but they keep following me anyway. Because I’m awesome! ... What do you mean how many have I got? There’s only one up there right now, right?” He realises your mistake.

“Well…” You sigh, unable to think of anything else to say. “It’s just I’ve seen you before, and Germany, ten years ago when I was a kid. It looks like the only one who remembers me is the dog.”  You laugh half-heartedly. “This is Blackie, right?” You ask after a moment’s recollection. Prussia nods silently, staring at you hard.

“… _______?” He eventually asks and your face lights up with a smile. “Kesese! I have an excuse to tease my bruder when we get back!” He laughs boldly and despite what’s just been said, you find yourself cheered up quite a bit too. He remembers you at last, and that means there’s all the more hope for Germany recognising you too.

*****

“West! I brought someone back to see you!” Prussia shouts out as the two of you enter the house at the end of your walk. It takes some time for Germany to emerge from whatever room he might be in, but you guess he’s probably in the middle of doing something right now. Maybe you could have given him a little more warning before showing up out of the blue like this.

“Beer?” Prussia offers in the meantime, after releasing the dog and flopping down onto the sofa with a drink of his own. You decline; you’re not even sure that Prussia can know that you’re allowed to drink yet, but more than that you want the moment of meeting Germany again to be special and easily remembered. Just as it looks like the scarlet-eyed man is about to persist, you hear footsteps on the stairs and rush out into the hallway. “… Ja, being alone is so awesome.” Prussia speaks this self-assurance once you’ve left the room.

“Germany, it’s you!” You say loudly, looking up at the man halfway up the stairs in delight. The blond, like Prussia, hasn’t changed at all and while part of you desperately wants to ask how all this can be, you’re happy enough for the moment to be left in your state of wonder.

“I’m sorry… Who are you?” Germany asks after a while of you staring up at him. Your heart sinks for the third time today.

“West, it’s _______. That kid that got lost in the Bavarian Forest all those years ago. Even I knew that.” Prussia boasts, stepping out of the living room. You’re kind of happy that he does this, as you don’t think you can muster up the courage to answer Germany’s question by yourself.

“_______...” Germany repeats your name, thinking for a moment just as his brother had to do. “It hasn’t been that long has it?” He asks rhetorically and his smile, while stern, leaves you awash with relief. “I’ve had a lot to remember over the years.” He excuses himself for his memory lapse. It may not seem like much of a reason, but it’s good enough for you. Once Germany has finished his descent, you leap at him with a hug, much to Prussia’s amusement but you’re not sure why.

*****

“I came back to Germany again, looking for you two.” You admit once you’ve calmed down a little. You’re sitting opposite the pair settled in the living room. “That map you gave me was really helpful for the first few years, but then places started changing. I still have it with me though.” You assure Germany needlessly, rummaging about your person trying to find the battered paper.

“A lot can change over years _______.” Germany comments, left a bit bewildered by how energetic your being all of a sudden. Your attention is quickly back with him once these words are said.

“You haven’t.” You smile back at the man, but at this he goes quiet. Your expression changes to one of curiosity towards his behaviour.

“You’ve been coming back here for years?” Prussia asks before you have the chance to say anything more to Germany. “You must have really wanted to see us again, why’s that?” His smirk suggests he’s already guessing what the reason might be.

“Oh, well…” You’re reluctant to answer really. Not only might your reason make you look silly for not understanding their language enough back then, but it could also make you seem a bit obsessive, just as your brother had been telling you. “I guess I never got to thank you back then.”

“You expect us to believe that?” Prussia scoffs. “That you’ve been coming back for these ten years, hunting us down, to say thanks?” Prussia lets loose another one of his strange laughs. “Nein, tell us the real reason _______.” He insists, putting his arm around his brother insinuatingly. Germany is oblivious to the significance and only glances at his sibling with distaste.

“If you must know-” You start angrily, but it steadily turns into a mumble as you continue with your truthful explanation. “Back then I didn’t know any German. I thought that when you said to me ‘Auf wiedersehen’,” You look over at Germany, feeling very shy all of a sudden “that you were telling me ‘I’ll be the same’; that you’d be exactly the same when I came back. Same looks, same voice, everything. That’s why I kept coming back. I wanted to see if that could really happen… It sounds silly right?” You laugh at yourself slightly. “But I was just so happy today, to see that something like that can really happen.” You avert your eyes, not feeling comfortable looking at the brothers anymore, especially Germany. Honestly you’re just waiting to be laughed at. Prussia does not disappoint.

“Kesese! You’ve been thinking that same way all this time? Haven’t you learnt any German since your first trip here?” He taunts before a dog’s lead is thrust into his face. “Ahhhh!” Falling off the sofa effectively puts a stop to his words.

“Aster still needs walking. I need you to do that for me.” Germany instructs seriously, standing over his floored brother. Grudgingly Prussia takes the hint. The dogs may belong to Germany but it’s not like his brother is kept occupied being an existing nation anymore; the least he can do is make himself useful. Once he’s left, Germany and you get to talking, uninterrupted by Prussia this time.

“… I don’t think it was silly of you to come looking for us.” Germany reassures you, but not in any way that sounds convincing. “But you should have planned ahead first and gotten a better idea of where you were going. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you had gotten yourself lost again.” He lectures.

“Maybe that was part of my plan.” You smile mischievously. “You would have gone out and found me again, right?” Of course you’re not being serious in this assumption, but it doesn’t look like Germany understands that. He sighs, frustrated slightly by your reaction to his words.

“We don’t always have time to be sent off on errands like we did then. Setting out to find you that day was a one off. Do you really want to know why it looks like my bruder and I haven’t aged since the last time you saw us?” You think for a minute, trying to decide whether it would be better to let the strange occurrence keep the mystery it accompanies. You end up nodding silently however, as your curiosity gets the better of you.

“It’s because we aren’t people, not as you know them.” You look confused by this explanation and it must show because soon enough Germany continues. “We are countries, nations. Germany is my country and I am Germany.” He tells you at last. It takes some time for what he’s saying to sink in. It’s pretty hard to imagine single individuals representing entire countries, but you wanted an explanation and that is what Germany has provided you with. As far as you know, he has no reason to lie to you. Whether what he says to you is fact or fiction, another question comes to mind.

“But wait. Countries change a lot over time. Even in the ten years since my first visit, I’ve seen changes that have taken place in Germany. Country or not, how can you still be the same?” You ask, trying your best not to appear rude.

“Ten years isn’t long in our existence.” He informs you. “I know countries that have lived for a lot longer than me, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at them. As long as Germany exists, I will exist. Even Prussia… He’s still around.” Germany finishes flatly.

“So… I don’t need to worry.” You conclude. “If I come back another ten years from now, or even a hundred, I’ll still be able to find you here?” You ask. This all still feels so surreal.

“Ja _______.” Germany gives another of his small smiles. “I’ll be the same.” You blink, wondering if you’ve heard him correctly this time. When it turns out you have, you’re taken back to that time all those years ago when Germany said his goodbyes to you. Just as you were back then, you’re overjoyed to be told such a thing. To you, these are definitely the nicest words anyone can say before leaving. In some ways you wish this is how every goodbye could go; that people would honestly be completely unchanged when you meet up with them again.

“Well, I have work to be getting on with. Sorry you couldn’t stay longer _______.” Germany apologises.

“No.” You tell him smiling brightly. “This was more than long enough. I can go home happy now.” You declare, and with this said Germany walks you to the door.

“Uh, _______.” You hear Germany say awkwardly once you’ve completed the short walk to your destination. You turn to find the blond with a faint blush on his face as he looks down into your eyes. Slowly he leans down and kisses you on the cheek.

“Germany, you didn’t have to…” You start, but already he is off up the stairs again, unable to hear anything further you may have to say. You stand still for a moment, your hand up to your cheek as your face turns the same colour as Germany’s before his show of affection. After that, Prussia bursts through the door just behind you and you are out of the house and halfway down the street soon after, not waiting around to be badgered by Prussia about what went on between the two of you while he was out.

*****

Back at the hotel, you find your own brother glaring deathly at you from the table he’s picked out in the dining room. You smile at him sheepishly as you make your way over and give him the thumbs up sign as you sit down opposite, causing him to breath a big sigh of relief. He leans back in his chair relaxed as you explain that you won’t need to come back to Germany again anytime soon.

It’s been another eventful day, just as it had been the day you first met Germany and Prussia, but all your efforts turned out to be worth it in the end. You’ve found that even though so many things around you change day in and day out, there are some things that will always stay the same.